dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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