Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
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I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
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sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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