I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
