i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
