Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
