The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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