Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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