I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
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Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
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She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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