Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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