Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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