i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
