after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
