i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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