Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
