Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
