the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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