apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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