Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
