erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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