'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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