We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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