i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
