The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
