I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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