Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
