nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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