just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
