one word: firstdatebathroomanal
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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