So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
