I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
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As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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