Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
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My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
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She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
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