My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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