This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
