dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
