My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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