I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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