His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
