You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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