fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
