D3 body, D1 cock
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
