Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.