Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
