I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It was confusing and full of hummus
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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