I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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