The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My cat gives me a boner
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
