gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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