Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
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New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I have feelings that need drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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