Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
