the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
