I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I need a beard to bite.
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