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I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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