Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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