so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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