"it" just moved
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I am one with the molecules
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
