why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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