Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
