anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
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...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
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One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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