she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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