Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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