I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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