Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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