is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
