I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
