wake up i wanna do it froggy style
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
