I wanna passion pit in your ass
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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