Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Watching her eat just hurts me
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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