remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You were trust falling into bushes
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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