sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
