woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize