Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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