Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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